Implying and inferring, rather than clearly stating and correctly receiving, are considerable communication problems. In The Five Cs of Communication by Forbes Council Member Cheryl Keates, number one on the list is “Be clear.” Bad communication, Keates writes, “creates tension and a negative dynamic and environment.” “Implied” is a dangerous idea in the communication realm. “Congratulations” and other words or phrases expressing happiness or excitement don’t require an exclamation point. It’s also an important hill, though, and I’ll use two arguments against the exclamation point to illustrate why.ġ. To me, anyway, but I could talk about things like words and punctuation all day. It is an interesting hill to plant a flag on. I find it interesting the hills you decide to plant your flag?! You do you girl….! Another attributed it in part to feminism.īut this is the Facebook comment I found most striking, written no doubt with playful exclamation points to match the sarcasm wrapped in the euphemism: One commenter on my Facebook post thought exclamation points had simply been phased out due in part to the “evolution” of writing in text messages. That she proved my Facebook post true-people do, in fact, comment “congratulations” with underlying apathy-and that others commenting on my feed thought an exclamation point was implied in the word “congratulations” and would therefore be redundant was pretty irrefutable evidence that its absence could, and did, mean anything. “Because it’s just what you do,” she said. “But if you’re not at all excited for someone, why say it at all?” I was so vexed that I was interrogating her with black beans and rice still in my mouth. If she really cared about them, they’d merit a heart. In fact, she argued, in many cases, she used “congratulations” in the same obligatory way we might say “please” or “thank you.” Only if she liked the person in real life would she add an exclamation point. She didn’t want to use an exclamation point for “congratulations,” she said. One of them had seen the conversation on Facebook and had hoped I’d bring it up. Instead, it generated a 54-comment debate that bled into a lunch I had the next day with two friends. A great Vive la ! movement, I was sure, would sweep the world of written communication. I expected my fist-banging to be met with waves of support. In response to a friend’s announcement that he was going home from the hospital after having survived something potentially fatal that I did the least (really) I could possibly do.Ĭan we PLEASE use one extra tiny finger tap for a ! after taking the time to tap out all the letters for “congratulations”? Is it really so hard to hit ONE MORE KEY to express enthusiasm so the recipient doesn’t get the impression that your congratulations are accompanied by an eye roll, a middle finger, or near-apathy? Or, like, if you can’t manage that, could you maybe say nothing at all? It would be more polite.
It’s made me genuinely angry that someone would respond with such non-commitment to another person’s obviously deeply-felt glee. It’s a tight twisting under my ribs, something like the adrenaline-fueled and reflexive urge to strike back when hit. JOHN IS BACK FROM AFGHANISTAN!! HE JUST SURPRISED ME AT WORK OMGOMG!!!Įvery time I see it- congratulations-I have a physical reaction to that floating, not-even-capitalized word.
In recent years, I’ve seen many comments on Facebook that read only:Įach is carelessly dropped as a reply to an elated announcement of a job offer, a promotion, a graduate degree, a new house, or some other milestone or celebration. A lot.Īnd in my fiction, every word the characters say has to be right, and each period, question mark, and ellipsis is used carefully. Even at home, when I want to broach a subject with my husband that has a high risk of making me nervous, writing saves us both a lot of stress and frustration. Not only are both instrumental in a world in which one person’s actions directly impact others, but they’re also effortless as acts of basic human decency go.Īs someone with a background in writing, and as someone who would always rather write than speak if I don’t want to accidentally offend or confuse, I’ve dedicated a lot of time to clarity in writing. Which is to say they don’t care as much as they should. Why, people seem to care as much about punctuation in their casual written communication as they do about using turn signals on a dark, wet, winding road. Today’s guest post is by author Kristen Tsetsi ( in favor of the exclamation point-which is what I plan to do-might seem like a silly endeavor. Photo credit: hectorhannibal on / CC BY-NC-ND
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